Love and Marriage

Is it possible to truly have a happy marriage?

I'm a Christian & don't believe in the swinger lifestyle. All swinger, please do not answer. I know there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but I just want a happy marriage. A marriage where the man & woman work together instead of against one another. A marriage where they respect one another. A marriage where they support one another. A marriage where the couple set goals with one another & then work together to reach them goals. Is that too much to ask for? Did God make male & females so different that there is no such thing as a happy marriage & it only happens in fairy tales?

Public Comments

1. yes its very possible...im in one and so are manyof my friends and relatives and wifes as well
2. People seem to think that when they get married everything will be like a fairytale. Marriages only work if you put the work in. Marriages can be happy and often are. Its when you start to let the little things slip, like taking each other for granted
3. I have a great guy we fight we bicker and we don't always get along but at the end of the day we always manage to make it work. And yes we are happy. He will say that too.
4. No, it is very possible. I have one. But you need to stick to your guns. Don't be blinded by lust or anything else. Really look at the other person's qualities. Only choose someone who matches your own beliefs and goals. Everyone has faults. So you have to determine if they are ones you can live with. For me, I can't live with cheating or cruelty, dishonesty of any kind. I can live with my husband's tendency to not pick up after himself.
5. It certainly is possible and in our case a very happy marriage for a number of years. It is a process that both have to work at, have good communication skills and develop common goals. Fidelity in marriage is a must as infidelity creates problems that generally cannot be overcome. Our christian religion is very important to us and is the basis of the love we have in our marriage.
6. it is quite possible! but with alot of love, patience, self sacrifice, understanding, respect, support, admiration for each other.
7. Yes it is! You just have to work together. Marriage is a 2 way street, it takes hard work and communication. Always remember why you love the person...remember your happiest times...and it will get you through the tough times. If my hubby and I have a fight...I often pop in our wedding DVD...seeing how happy and in love we are usually makes me realize our fight is not worth it. Life is too short to live mad :-)
8. Well I'm sorry you don't want to hear from me, but plenty of people - swinger and otherwise - have happy marriages. A happy marriage does exist - it's all over. We have one because we live FOR each other and put each other's needs above our own. From the Christian perspective, a happy marriage between you, your husband and God is completely possible and a realistic goal. But you both need to want it and be willing to do the right things to get it. Males and females are very different, but those differences can bring you together rather than drive you apart if you know how to work it and accept it, rather than fight it. If you thought that I was going to say we are happy because we are swingers - I am not going to say that at all. We were happy first and still are. I wish you and your husband (are you married? or are you speaking of a future marriage?) all the best - never settle with an unhappy marriage.
9. Unfortunately with today's society, everything is much easier than it was 40 or 50 yrs ago. Back then, it was widely known that everything takes work and effort. Now, we have everything handed to us-for instance-the internet. We no longer go to the library or even to a book for a reference, we hop online and do a quick google search and have the world at our fingertips. Everyone these days don't seem to realize that relationships take work. Whether it be a friendship or marriage, it takes both parties contributing to maintain a healthy balance. People go into marriage blind about the fact that yes, there are going to be bad days. There are going to be times when you just can't seem to get along with your partner for the life of you. And that sometimes, these "bad" days may last weeks. They have one bad day and are immediately running for the door. Well, guess what!? Marriage is not all gumdrops and lollipops. It is not easy. It takes a continual effort and lots of elbow grease. It takes communication and dedication, which seems to be lacking these days with everyone-not just with relationships, but overall as a whole-with text messaging and IM'ing available.
10. Yes, these marriages do exist. Not to scare you, but sometimes it's the second or third marriage when a couple gets to the point where they know what they want out of a marriage and are willing to work and commit to the marriage. Young couples are still struggling to get out of the me, my, mine stage and are not willing to commit to much, if anything at all. A good marriage takes planning and work from both partners. the fairy tale you are talking about is what young people think marriage is. The honeymoon stage is great, but what happens after that? That's where the fairy tale ends and the work and commitment begin. Sometimes we have to wait longer than we want for the "right" partner for marriage. But that's okay. You miss out on a lot of heartache, and the waiting pays off when you meet Mr. Right.
11. Of course it's possible. It takes two mature and committed people to achieve it. There will always be problems, difficult times, differences of opinion....even arguments. It all gets worked out.
12. No matter what, love always makes the marriage works. Without love, you won't be happy. With love, you can ignore everything. Problems in marriage are normal so at the same time is happiness.
13. You can have a happy marriage, but only if you have two people that put their spouse before their shelf and they both have to be willing to do this. Couples don't think that their marriage will have some type of hurt from disagreements, wrong choices or illness, so when this happens they find it easier to walk away rather than to work it out. You can have a good and happy marriage but you both have to be willing to forgive and put things in the past and believing in each other.