Love and Marriage

How do I go about getting the kind of love and support that I need?

Emotionally I am a bit of a wreck. I need love, support and TLC. How can I go about getting these things from other people or giving these things to myself. I am good at helping others. Why is it so hard to help myself or to get the love and support that I need from others?

Public Comments

1. since you like helping others you probably let people into your life that "need help" and they aren't usually able to give you what you need because they are suffering. sometimes it is hard to do the things we know are good for us but you need time to do whatever you enjoy, whatever makes you feel good. i like to read and watch movies. the more money you have to spend, the more you can treat yourself, a new outfit, a massage, a special treat for yourself. also, counseling can help you to sort things out and resolve issues with yourself and others. good luck!
2. I applaud your reaching out - it takes guts. It sounds like you may need to talk with someone, professionally. You may want to find a local support group, join a church, talk with a pastor (rabbi) etc. There are very supportive folks out there, you just have to be in the right circles. If you work for a large company, you may be eligible for Employee Assistance Program - they may have a mental health referral and assistance available. What you are asking for is very normal - you just might need help finding it. Best of luck.
3. You've said it yourself - you're an emotional wreck. While you are like this and looking to others for support and help you will continue to remain unnattractive to people and therefore less likely to receive any TLC. Life comes to you by accident, you're here for a few years then you die. Make the most of it. You are the only person who can sort yourself out. If you pull your finger out and just get on with life like everybody else, you will soon start to see the opportunity for having fun and thereby becoming happy. When you are happy you will become attractive and get friends and support.
4. Hey its perfectly normal to want those things, its deep in our human psyche. I would start by giving these things to yourself to build self esteem. What do you want from life? what are your goals and dreams? Why not treat and pamper yourself because at the end of the day your worth it. These are some very awkward honest questions you might want to ask yourself, are you helping people because you want them to like you? Is it hard to help yourself because you have don't believe your worth it? Some soul searching might be required but I've had to do this in the past and now I feel like I'm worth it. xx
5. This is a good question because there have been more times than I care to count that I have needed this myself. My view is that if people around you do not reckognise when you need this and do not return the love that you give so readily then they are not worthy of being in your life. That sdaid there are varying degrees of what is deemed love and support. I am currently out of work and was made redundant today. I have a missus that in my opinion does not pull her weight around the house or in the sack. I work my nuts off and buy her and the family gifts and all sorts but as I am a man I am not expected to need the sort of support that a woman needs just because its a certain time of the month. Sometimes its just all about them. True strength and I mean personal strength is to reckognise this and either make the changes or be strong enough to take it all on the chin. If you can not cope and you are not getting help then ditch the people that should be helping you and find people that really do care. They are out there. Believe me
6. yep i am much the same as you---ring local chmt or hospital see if they got a drop in centre NR you --- i go to one now --- something to do better then being in all day--the link below is the one i go to help me a lot in Jan this year when i lost my 20 year old daughter http://thestarcentre.org.uk/index.htm